Be patient...

My kids frequently hear me say, "be patient, but not too patient," with the process of growth.

Here is what I mean.

I believe that dealing with the process of growth in any endeavor - learning to play an instrument, a sport, a skill for school or work, etc. - is a challenge that is inherent to the human condition.

Things invariably take longer than you expect or desire. And it is natural to become frustrated at our progress, or lack thereof - as a child or as an adult.

My advice for my children - and to myself - depends on the situation. 

If we expect miracles, if we expect everything to come easy, then we will be disappointed more often than not. That doesn't mean that everything worth having is hard, but many things will be. And so we have to be patient.

To adapt from an earlier post, we need to set expectations up front about the likely or potential speed of our progress. In addition, we need to be able to recognize small improvements as they come, to understand that those are still improvements, and to remind ourselves that not everyone learns everything new at the same pace. And so being patient is generally helpful.

However.

We cannot let patience evolve into what I might call "unnecessary acceptance."

Sometimes you can be patiently practicing something for weeks, and truly getting nowhere. In that case, we need to be able to recognize this, say "this isn't working," and call in some reinforcements. If we are fortunate, it may be that all it takes is a fresh set of eyes, an encouraging word, or being open to a different perspective, even for a few moments.

However, in other cases, the reinforcements we need might take the form of studying, practicing, and restudying from a youtube video, a tutor, a coach, and so on.

I have seen this with my children, and I have certainly experienced this first hand.

Being resilient in the face of adversity often means finding a way to overcome it, by respecting the reality that not everything we need or want to do can be done by our own efforts, no matter how hard we try, and we must seek the help of others.

So, be patient and don't get frustrated too quickly - but if we find ourselves being "too patient" with our lack of progress, we need to find another way to move forward.